Time and time again I have met a guy, we have hit it off, he messages me, pursues me, we spend a lot of time together. Then one day he disappears, does not call as much (or not at all) and is perpetually “busy”. This ultimately leads to the demise of the relationship, nothing is ever the same after a guy essentially becomes absent. My friends and I often refer to this as “the man cave”, where a man typically retreats in the first few months of a relationship while he contemplates if the relationship is what he wants or not, and if he is even ready for a relationship. The book, Mars and Venus by John Gray often refers to this time in the uncertainty phase.
There is no penetrating the man cave either, yes I said penetrate. You cannot attempt to talk to a man while he is in a man cave for fear of pushing him away even further. It tends to make women crazy, wondering what went wrong!
Here is the thing though, if he was really the right man, would this even happen? Would a man need to resort to retreating into his man cave if he was really that into you? It seems so complicated and I would like to think that with the right person it would be easy. At this age, with the baggage people bring to relationships, I am not so sure anymore.
It would be nice to hear from a man about what goes through a mans head when he retreats. Is it REALLY because he is contemplating getting serious with you or is he just not that into you?